View from the chair

If evolution were true…

If evolution were true there would be some much-needed improvements to women.  Over the history of man AKA women, we would have adapted the necessary adjustments to make our lives easier.

The first is an obvious one…we as women would have grown extra arms.  Not only are we required to carry our own stuff often times we will be saddled with various little humans as well as their belongings.  Whether it be a diaper bag, a backpack or various toys.  Extra arms would be a must!  Along with those extra arms one extra-extra long arm to reach way into the back of the minivan for the book that was just thrown back there and is needed RIGHT NOW while careening down the highway at 65 miles per hour!

Eyes in the back of the head.  Those would be very needed!  This will help when we use our extra-extra long arm to find that book in the back of the van but also to help in keeping an eye on what is really going on.  When a child asks you “what is this” you can answer honestly and don’t just have to guess what they are holding in their hands….again as you are careening down the highway at 65 miles per hour.  Eyes in the back of the head would be handy for when cooking dinner and yet the little human needs you to watch her 100th cartwheel for the thousandths time!  Extra eyes will also help sassy faces after you have given the what for when they are disobeying.  You know the usual eye roll or stink eye when they think you are not looking!

A heightened sense of smell!   Instead of sniffing every item on the floor or sniffing every small human or fur baby to find the offensive smell a heightened sense of smell will allow you to go directly to the source of the offensive odor and remove it promptly from the house.  This could also benefit when you are with small humans in a small space as to find out if you need to do a prompt diaper change!

A heightened sense of hearing.  When small humans or grown up husbands are on another floor you can really know what they are doing!  We all know when a small human is quiet for an extensive amount of time some sort of mischief is probably afoot!

The ability to sleep with eyes open.  Can you imagine the ability to sleep while doing mundane tasks like dishes?  Or sleeping while watching My Little Pony for the fifteenth time that day?  All appearances you are awake and functioning but really your brain has shut down for a cat nap!

But alas we have made none of these adaptations over the years which is one of the many reasons why I do not believe in evolution.  So for myself, I rely on the daily Grace of God to get me through each day. Carry on my dear mother carry on…literally!

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  1. Haha, true! Most of those things would indeed be very useful. Not sure if I’d like a heightened sense of smell though… ? #KCACOLS

  2. I love this perspective! So, so true! Another reason to debunk evolution! Made me smile today 🙂 #sundaythoughts

  3. This gave me all the smiles today!

  4. I like to think that as a mother I have evolved as a human being and now have ninja like reactions. Who needs three arms when you can use two in quick succession! A x #familyfunlinky

    1. beachchairtracy

      Oh yes!!!! I forgot the ninja skills. I have ninja skills too. I can take a sleeping child from a car seat to her bed without making a single sound!

  5. I can see your point, i think evolutionary is such a fascinating topic. X #anythinggoes

  6. How true is this! #globalblogging@_karendennis

  7. Oh this made me laugh! If only! We’d be a freak of nature or superhuman but life would be so much easier! #KCACOLS

  8. Pretty sure evolution doesn’t work quite like that. But who knows. Over the next million years maybe we will develop some change. Although our social development has been far quicker than our physical adaptations. #MondayStumble

  9. I think as women we do have heightened senses and awareness to our family in some ways. Very funny though. Although I would HATE to be able to sleep with my eyes open. When I dream I want to escape the real world for a bit. #GlobalBlogging

  10. Haha very funny! I wonder if we will evolve further to adapt to today’s frantic pace? We will have to check back in a couple of million years time to see! #AnythingGoes

  11. This was funny and fun to read, thanks for sharing.

  12. These would be some wonderful advancements, that is for sure! #kcacols xoxo

  13. You made me laugh and speak the truth! I love it.

  14. Love this! How useful and easier our lives would be with these evolutions! #dreamteam

    1. argh sorry I meant #globalblogging!!!!

  15. Back with blogger lovin’ from #dreamteam xoxo

  16. Your vision for the female form is awesome, I could definitely use some extra arms or hearing! #GlobalBlogging

  17. Hahaha this is definitely true. Although I think I would add the ability to exist on zero sleep – you know very much like sleeping with your eyes open and the patience of a saint. I could certainly do with the latter evolutionary characteristic. Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

    1. beachchairtracy

      Ahhhh…how could I forget the sleeping thing!

  18. Those things would help immensely! Of course I can imagine how the heightened sense of smell could backfire in so many ways lol! #DreamTeam

    1. beachchairtracy

      We all know how that goes! Sniff the wrong item and it is over!

  19. He he how true, although it’s nearly always mum who wakes up in the middle of the night when one of the children stir on not Dad. Have we evolved super senses ?. #KCACOLS

  20. Haha, I absolutely could do with an extra pair of arms and the sleeping with my eyes open too! Especially when my daughter makes me sit through yet another episode of Victorious. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time

  21. Haha! This is brilliant. Eyes that stay open when you are asleep!! I could do with some of these. Just imagine the possibilities. That and extra arms which are extra long, I’m pretty sure these should be a must-have. Thanks for giving us all the giggles over on the #DreamTeam this week 🙂

  22. If only we could choose how we evolve hey! Maybe we could introduce a few mutations and be like X-Women. 😉 Thanks for linking up to #fortheloeofBLOG

  23. Georgina Prince was davies

    This was hilarious!

  24. Zvonimir

    Very funny article , thanks for sharing !

  25. How true! I would hate to be able to sleep with my eyes open though!

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