View from the chair

The perfect mom in the pick up line…

We all know her. That perfect mom. That mom that ALWAYS comes in looking perfectly coiffed. Her hair is never out of order. Her outfit is perfectly matched right down to her accessories. Her children are clean and well behaved. They have manners. They are just as adorable as she is. Matching outfits at times. Outfits…like things bought together…not just clothes pulled out of a drawer. We are not talking mix and match. We are talking this is an OUTFIT and can only be worn as an outfit. Not a wrinkle in her outfit nor on her face. Eyes that look like they sparkle and have gotten no less than 9 hours of peaceful rest. The mom who packs her kids a healthy balance of organic snacks with just the right amount of locally baked gluten-free perfections. This mom never has bad breath nor coffee stains on her teeth.  The mom that makes every holiday party look like a best of the best for Pinterest. Never forgets a birthday party, book club order, bake sale, sports meeting nor permission slip. The kind of mom that makes the entire class full of other mom’s look like cave trolls. Along with her perfect children is her perfect husband. Comes to every sporting event even though he works full time. Never misses a parent-teacher conference. Handsome. Friendly. The woman has it all. Can see her in your mind? Right? Pulls up in her perfectly clean car. Happy. Happy? Happy? Could you be happy in a life of perfection? First of all, NO ONE has it all together. Let’s just give each other a break. Even if such a mom exists they are far and few. Don’t compare yourself. You will have days of greatness and other days when you are lucky to walk out of the house and not be picked up the local fish and game thinking you are Sasquatch roaming about. Even the perfect mom has been there. Let yourself off the hook! There are times when my little girl will drink organic milk and have organic gummies in her lunch. There are other times when we are so busy the van is full of Wendy’s to go bags. I am talking crumpled up bags of red smiling girls in all directions! (In my head I prefer Wendy’s because it is fresh never frozen…how’s that for justification) Life is to short to compare yourself with other moms. They are not in your shoes. They do not have your family. Your situation. This is NOT high school where you have to be in homeroom with the pretty girl. You are YOU! You are created to be just who you are. So pull yourself out of your minivan, mini coop, beater boxcar, Volvo and present your kids for who they are. Smile at everyone because it just makes good sense. Encourage that mom dragging a screaming child carrying a sleeping baby who looks like she has not slept in 8 years. Say hello to the pretty mom who seems to have a perfect life. It can be lonely living in perfection. To the new mom who knows no one introduce yourself. Sit next to her at the next parent meeting. Remember you were the new mom once. Above all else stop the gossiping (which we all know goes on in the pickup line). If you can’t say anything nice keep your lips sealed on your Starbucks coffee cup! Can you imagine what the world would look like if all moms encouraged each other instead of comparing? Find something good in every mom. Even that young mom that has 3 kids with 3 different men. Find something nice to say and if you can’t find something nice, be silent and offer a smile. I am sure she has heard all those whispers behind her back and have seen the nasty glares. A smile will cost you nothing. For the love of all please just be nice. Not perfect. Nice. Be real. Be genuine. Be someone other mom’s look to. Not because you are perfect because you are kind. Raise kind children. Buy organic or don’t buy organic. We won’t judge. Swing by Wendy’s…your secret is safe with me. I will see you in the pickup line…I will be the one with soda spilled on my white shirt.


  1. Ha I love this! I always wonder how some people can look so happy and perfect!! I always think it’s great to give everyone a chance and make the effort with people who you may not talk to. Can make their day. Lovely post and thanks for sharing with #bloggersbestr x

    1. beachchairtracy

      A simple smile can go a long way!

  2. I am genuinely grateful to the owner of this web page
    who has shared this wonderful post at at this place.

  3. Women and certainly those who become mums could do themselves a huge favour by judging less and communicating more but so much of that judgment comes from a lack of self-esteem and htat needs tackling too and there is no quick fix or if there is I want it. #TheMMLinky

  4. Yes, you are so right about that ‘perfect’ mum needing kindness just as much and I agree, there’s one thing I can’t abide and that’s the gossip, so much better to swing the conversation in another direction! Thanks for this post. #TheMMLInky

  5. There is no such thing as a Pinterest Perfect mom… some are just better at faking it than others…and some need a good reality check. Thanks for sharing! Needed this today!

  6. I love this sentiment, we should all give ourselves a break, and be kind to each other, Motherhood is hard work! Lovely post. #Blogstravaganza x

  7. It’s so true that even though people may look like they have it together, you never know what’s really going on in their lives. Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

  8. Crumbs I’m so busy I don’t even see her anymore. No time to oodle over homemade organic after school snacks I’m afraid – too much life to get on with 😉 #themmlinky #bigpinklink

  9. This is so true – we all have our good days and bad days, and you never know what someone else is going through. We’re all doing our best when it comes to motherhood, let’s celebrate and support each other rather than judging and tearing each other down. The world would be a much nicer place! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  10. I wrote a post once called ‘Are Mums Judged On Their Appearance?’. Of course, I knew the answer, that’s what I why I wrote it. I am the Mum that does the school run in nice clothes, hair and makeup. I smile at everyone I walk past and stop and speak to those I know if I have time. But am I ‘perfect’? Far from it. Am I always happy? Not at all. Have I got all of my shit together? No way. I present myself like this because it’s how I’m at my most confident. Looks can be deceiving. No one knows what’s really going on. Thank you for also pointing it out. I can guarantee the ‘perfect mum’ you’ve written about is pretty similar. Thanks for joining in with #TriumphantTales.

  11. Rosie

    I had a girlfriend from school days who was like this when her kids were little. Everything so perfect, it was boggling. And her little boy’s favorite toy was the vacuum cleaner! Where I used to work, several of the management had nannies, one had three nannies, a nanny for each of her three kids, and each nanny had chores to do, so mama didn’t have much to do about household, cooking or caretaking. In the wealthier part of the state, some families have offices with full staff to manage everything. Mama only needs to keep up her hair and nails.

    1. beachchairtracy

      To me that is not motherhood. Motherhood should be messy!

  12. Pero

    That perfection is only achievable with lots and lots of money , there has to be full time staff working behind scenes

  13. I love this! I agree with you – motherhood should be messy!

  14. Donna Gnann

    Yes, motherhood is messy and hard just ask me, the Mom who’s daughter writes this blog . OMG she is such a creative person and such a great mother, teacher and wife but perfect……no way. Thats the way I love her

    1. beachchairtracy

      I love you too mom!

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