Motherhood and earplugs…
Motherhood is not easy. You find things in your pocket like a Barbie shoe, a lego, an old tissue used to clean only who knows what! I put on my vest and found a pair of earplugs in my pocket. I had forgotten they were there. The week before Little Girl had to go through an MRI and I needed to support her.
This was her first MRI and Husband and I had done all we could to prep her. This is what it will look like. This is what it will sound like. You will need to be very still. You will have an IV in your arm. You will have headphones to listen to music. Mom will be nearby. It will be about 45 minutes. She thought she was good until…
The actual day. We arrive. We check-in. She gets her IV. We enter the room and it is small, soundproof, claustrophobic. This is not going to end well. Little Girl was a trooper getting put into place but as the time to start got closer, there was no way she was going to stay in here by herself. The Child Life Specialist asked Little Girl if she wanted me to stay in the room. She said yes through tears in her eyes. I will be allowed to stay in the room.
After answering a few questions about my health and any implanted metal (I have none) I was given a pair of earplugs and told where to stand. As the door closed and the MRI started I had nothing to do but watch her sweet face through a tilted mirror for 45 minutes. No phone. No chair. No book. Nothing but her and I amid the noises of the machine looking for answers.
In those 45 minutes, I encouraged her that she could in fact do this. I held her foot. I rubbed her leg. I prayed for her. I ran through different scenarios in my head. I listened to the drum of the noise that made it past the earplugs. I would have traded places with her in a heartbeat. She was brave. She DID NOT like it. The last bit was the hardest as she had reached her max. By her side, I stood. She made it through.
This is motherhood. It is raw. It is hard. It is being there in a small room armed with nothing more than your prayers and earplugs. The next MRI is in 2 weeks. She will be sedated for this one. One step closer to the answers.