Foster Parent, View from the chair

To the tired momma…

I see you.  The momma with a diaper bag slung over your shoulder.  The momma with the screaming kid.  The momma who has not has a solid 4 hours sleep in forever.  To the momma with the fluids all over….snot, tears, vomit and even worse…hey, we have all had the diaper fail!  To the single momma working so hard to provide.  To the momma with the child with specific needs.  I see you.  I see how tired you are.  I have news for you.  It.  Won’t.  Last!  It won’t.  Not forever.  It may not seem like it at the time.  The middle of the night feedings.  The middle of the night sick runs.  The middle of the night…..!  The early mornings.  The meal prep.  The laundry.  The constant running.  It will not last forever.

I was laying in bed last night….the last one horizontal because that is what we moms do!  I began to think of how much my little one has grown and changed.  She came to live with my husband and I just shy of 5.   She came with issues.  Sleep issues.  Food issues.  Bathroom issues.  Loads of appointments and running around.  I was tired!  Sleep issues meant that I was running back and forth several times a night to comfort.  To resettle.  To retuck.  Getting her to sleep and stay asleep was a major event.  Then the food issues.  Her daily food intake was like a sudoku.  What would she eat today?  She weighed 22 pounds and was grossly underweight so she HAD to eat.  I all but stood on my head to get her to eat.  Thank the Lord for peanut butter on a spoon! Bathroom issues.  I was constantly doing laundry!  My laundry is on the bottom floor of a 4 story house.  Up.  Down.  Up.  Down.  UP!  DOWN!  AAAHHH!   Being new into foster care she had a ton of appointments.  Doctors to check her weight every week.  She had never seen a dentist and her teeth were a mess.  Therapy.  Social worker team meetings.  Support group.  Court hearings every 3 months.  Thankfully this was all during the summer.  I am a teacher so I had my entire summer free to get her adjusted and in a routine.   With all that said I looked back last night at how much she has changed, grown and developed.  Sleep is a bit of an issue but not nearly as bad.  I usually tuck her in and on most nights that is all it takes.  There are times when she will need a retuck or want some books to read.  She just turned 7 and is an excellent reader.  I have no problem with her reading for a bit before bed.  This often helps her get to a place where she can turn off and fall asleep.  Food.  Well…food is still a bit of an issue.  However thanks to an amazing plate I found on Amazon she has gotten much better.  I am going to do my first review on this amazing plate.  But until I do…if you are curious here is the link http://amzn.to/2AmmemE.  The plate has a path of little wells they eat from as they take the path to dessert.  I tell her this is what we are having.  She can choose to eat it and get dessert at the end or not.  No more fighting.  No more pleading.  Just a nice family dinner.  Bathroom.  Turns out a little Miralax goes a long way.  This helps keep her regular and takes the pressure off her bladder which keeps her clean and dry.  We are two months away from adoption so thankfully the running around has slowed a bit.  She still has her regular dentist and doctor’s appointments.  It has gotten better.  Kids grow.

As tired as you are momma, please don’t wish away the time with your littles when they are young.  On the bad days, chalk it up to a bad day.  Get through the day with all humans still alive, crawl into bed and start fresh in the morning.  On the good days take the time to enjoy your little ones in this season.  You will not always have to tote a diaper bag.  There will be a time when you can take a hot shower and wear makeup again.   Single Momma.  Stay at it.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  My mom was a single mom and if you ask her she remembers the day all 3 of us were able to get ourselves up and entertain ourselves on Saturdays.  She said that was the best thing to be able to sleep in a bit!   That time is coming for you!  Hang in there!   The messes get replaced by cute hand-drawn pictures.  The diaper bag gets replaced by a little helper eager to carry in the light grocery bags.  It is hard making humans.  It is hard raising humans.  It is messy sharing life with humans.  But let’s face it.  At the end of the day when those humans put their arms around you and express their love, it is all worth it.  So tired momma I see you.  I pray for you.  I am paving the way ahead of you.  It.  Will.  Not.  Last.

The Pramshed

 

Motherhood The Real Deal

 

5 Comments

  1. I doubt there’s a parent or carer in the world who hasn’t been there and can’t relate 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

  2. Thanks for this! Much needed.
    Social media is full of people smugly saying “ha, you think that’s bad … it only gets worse from here…” and it used to seriously contribute to my anxiety. It was only as it slowly got better that I realised it changes – and some people have easier babies, others easier kids.
    I think this needs to be shared with every tired parent!!
    #fortheloveofblog

    1. beachchairtracy

      It is all perspective and amount of sleep! I don’t want to wish away her childhood but let’s face it some days are easier than others. Find joy in the good days and survive and thrive the rough days!

  3. You’re so right – it doesn’t last long but it feels like it will last forever when you’re living through it doesn’t it? Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofBLOG

  4. MMT

    I think I can see the end is in sight but you have certainly made me think about not wishing it away! Life is far too short…
    Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub

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