Foster Parent, Mom Life, View from the chair

Sound the alarm

Sound the ALARM!

I was sitting on the dock guarding this summer and I had to blow my whistle to get a child’s attention.   I had to sound the alarm to let the child know she was in danger.  I had no problem using my whistle.  It is my primary tool as a lifeguard.  I use it to communicate with swimmers and I use it to communicate with other staff members.   It is just that.  An alarm.  The sole job of a whistle it to alert someone.

Why is it as moms we have a hard time sounding the alarm when we need it.  When we need help.  I am usually the person on the giving end.  Need a meal, gotcha covered.  You need a ride, I have a big van.  Longing for some company, I love to chat.

Mom Down!

A few months ago I felt like I was going under in life.  Little Girl was in the hospital.  She had been sick all weekend.  Husband was down and OUT with sciatica.  He could not even stand.  The house was a mess as my normal routine was out of whack.  It was not dirty but piles of stuff.  When life gets unbalanced I notice it first with piles of stuff.  We are so tired we come home, we drop things and there they stay.  I remember coming home after Little Girl was released and looking around.

Something had to give.  This was not usual for me!  I usually handle life’s ups and downs with ease.  It was all too much!  I did the only thing I could think of doing.  I reached out to my foster parent support group via facebook and sounded the alarm.   Momma is going down!  No longer treading water!  MOM DOWN!!!  Within moments I had fellow foster mom’s offer meals and asking how else they could help.  The simple thought of not having to worry about meals was like a breath of fresh air.  As silly as it sounds that was all I needed.  Knowing meals were taken care of I was able to focus on the family.  The piles.  The dog.  The laundry.  Exhale.

Ask for help!

In a world where we are told mom’s need to have it all together, it is hard to sound the alarm for yourself.   Why is that?  The television moms have it all together.  The “reality” stars have it all together.  The mom down the street has it all together.  Or do they?  First of all the TV mom…not real.  Gone are the days of Donna Reed.  The reality stars.  Come on.  They are so far from anyone’s reality that they should not be the moral compass of motherhood!  The mom down the street.  She may talk a good game but peel back the bamboo flooring and organic gummies and life may tell a different story.   Life is hard enough without having to compare yourself or be afraid to ask for help!

It’s ok!

So take the advice from this momma.  It is ok to ask for help.  It is ok to not have it all together.  It is ok to need a meal or two!  Life happens and we need to go with the flow but when that flow seems to take you under be sure to sound the alarm!

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