When life hands you dried blueberries and other anecdotes from parenthood!
Standing in the grocery aisle and your child promises to eat the dried blueberries. The expensive, flown here on the wings of a unicorn, dried blueberries! “But mom, I promise!” “Remember you said you want me to eat more fruits and veggies!” You go against your better judgment and buy said blueberries. You get them home and anxiously serve these blue little jewels on a PBA free plate to your grateful, waiting child. She eats one and declares she does not like them! <insert angry face>
So what do you do when life hands you a nice bag of dried blueberries? You make blueberry muffins! Said child enjoyed them not knowing she ate the dried blueberries she only days ago detested! Mom for the win!
Get your socks on girl…
Me…go upstairs and get your socks.
She comes down in a boo-kini…no socks.
Me…a little cold to swim….go up and get some socks.
She comes down in her nightgown…no boo-kini…still no socks.
Me….Please go get a pair of socks.
Her….mom can you come up and help me get dressed.
Me….Honey…your school outfit is here with me you only need to get a pair of socks.
She comes down with her mermaid blanket over her head…no socks.
Me…Do you have your socks?
Her…no…I forgot them.
Me…go get a pair of socks.
She comes down with a lovely pink pair of socks. Her shirt is red. I said nothing and put them on her feet!
The poo report…
At some point in parenthood, you will need to describe the poo that comes out of your child to a medical professional. You will need to provide the 3 c’s. Color, clarity, consistency. It will be more intense then buying a diamond.
Insider snack trading…
This was taken from one of my parent’s Facebook page with her permission!
Paysen insisted on taking $5 to school today for a “trade”. He refused to tell me what this trade was. I was concerned as he was quite anxious about this $5. I texted his teacher, evidently, a classmate had agreed to bring him some contraband for $5. What was this contraband you ask? A Nutragrain bar. Yes, a nutrigrain bar. Poor Paysen, his mom only packs “healthy” snacks and he really wanted a Nutragrain bar, he was willing to pay $5 for it too! Watch out, next it will be Doritos behind the dumpster!
For more fun tales from parenthood click here.