There are things you are not told to expect as a parent. I am here to tell you. Brace yourself. Somethings are pretty harsh.
Here they are in no particular order…
The tiniest amount of milk in a sippy cup, abandoned in a van, will reek to the point of making said van inhabitable until the offensive sippy cup is found!
Kids will always need to poop when you are the next person in line in the packed store!
A simple 3 ounces of pink juice will stain an entire wall when spilled just right.
Stepping on legos in bare feet will cause a pain known like no other.
No amount of scrubbing can take off dried pancake batter on a plastic bowl.
No matter how vigilant there will always be something growing at the back of the refrigerator.
Laundry left in a washing machine on a summer day for even an hour will turn vile.
Your kid will have a poop where you will need to throw away the socks! Count it as a loss. Don’t even try to wash them.
There will be a point where your kid will throw up in the department store.
You will be able to make Mac and Cheese and just eyeball it and nail it every time.
No matter where you sit you will always stare at an empty toilet paper roll!
You will have to explain the difference between someone being overweight or being pregnant.
You will have better luck getting a girdle on a snake then putting sunscreen on an impatient child.
Your small child will say a swear word in front of your pastor.
You will be sound asleep and still be able to hear your child’s feet hit the floor in the middle of the night.
In the spring you will find forgotten Halloween candy behind some box in your pantry.
What did I miss? Drop your comment below and I will add you to the list with your name as street cred!
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